Transits for March 27th through April 25th 2017
Last month’s focus was on healing forgotten parts of ourselves back into wholeness. This month, we take that wealth of new knowledge and decide, from a new and improved perspective, who we are and what we actually want.
While ‘what do I want?’ may seem like an easy question, in reality, most people struggle with it. What lights you up deep down in your soul is often at odds with your logical brain and what you’ve been told you ‘should’ do. To make that contradiction easier, most of us suppress our wild longings and try to convince ourselves that what we ‘should’ do is, in fact, what we want to do. After a few decades of this nonsense, that ‘what do you want’ question becomes downright frustrating.
The Aries New Moon leads us further down the path of releasing those old ‘shoulds’ and reconnecting with what we want by combining the Sun (identity) and Moon (emotions) with Venus (values), all in the fiery and courageously independent sign of Aries. Aries’ mantra could very well be ‘I do what I want!’. Which sometimes gets it in trouble. Yet, this month, the more self-focused you are, the more ground you’ll cover in regards to your soul’s growth.
Let’s dive in to what this looks like.First, the lovely Venus has been in her own Retrograde Cycle since March 4th, reflecting on and refining her values. Figuring out how to be even more herself. (Which will continue until she goes direct on April 15th.)
As she was basking in all that ‘I’ll do what I please, thank you’ energy, the Sun and Moon joined her self-love party. Now, this powerhouse trio has created an opportunity for us all to enjoy the party right along with them. To tap into their creative independence, all you need to do is allow yourself to move your focus away from ‘out there’ and put it on ‘in here.’
For good measure, Mercury, planet of communication, enters its own Retrograde Cycle in Taurus on April 9th. Mercury brings to the party a reflection on how we communicate (to others and to ourselves) our self-worth and what makes us comfortable. I can already hear the unconscious cries of ‘but that would be selfish for me to focus on ME being comfortable! I have to take care of my kids /go to a day job/do the laundry/save the planet!’
To this, the Universe says,
you do the most good for others
when you fill yourself up first.
As a society, we have made ‘selfishness’ into quite the dirty word. I’ve made it a life goal to upend that destructive belief. First, let me explain the two different kinds of selfishness. There is the kind most of us are familiar with – the individual who only cares for himself and couldn’t care less about anyone else. This kind of person is the product of low self esteem and scarcity thinking. “If you have something, that means that I don’t get to have it myself.” They create from a place of fear and lack, and (surprise, surprise) generate more fear and lack around them in the process.
A lot of our ‘selfless’ beliefs are the same in reverse. “If I have something that means you can’t have it, thus I won’t give it to myself.” Two sides of the same coin. Energetically, both sides are creating from fear and scarcity thinking, thus snowballing into more fear and scarcity.
This has been a staple in most societies for hundreds of years. I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think it’s working.
The second kind of selfishness I call ‘self-full’. Self-full is caring for yourself in the way you would care for your favorite loved one. You are happy to give him or her anything they need and, in the end, enjoy the benefits of a healthy, respectful, loving relationship. If you say to your partner, ‘I need you to finish that report, do the laundry and make dinner before you go to bed tonight. Oh, and you didn’t save enough last month and you need to lose 10 pounds’, how lovey-dovey do you think they’ll be towards you afterwards?
Probably not very lovey-dovey. Yet, most people ask this of themselves daily.
Self-full is acknowledging that you have as much right to a happy, healthy life as anyone else. And that your happiness does not take happiness away from others. In fact, more often than not, your self-fullness is serving others by inspiring them to go out and do the same. Plus, since you cared for your own needs first, you now actually have energy to spare that you can share with others!
The Full Moon in Libra on the 10th is the perfect culmination of this ‘spend your energy on yourself first, then share the rest’ theme. Jupiter (expansion) and Uranus (unexpected change and a need to be different) join the Sun and Moon. This adds an even greater pull towards embodying our individuality. Then, mighty Pluto (transformation) eggs on the whole group to permanently change old structures, so the new self-full, soul-full practices stick.
Add a harmonious trine to Saturn in Sagittarius (solidifying of beliefs) and we have all the tools to manifest our most courageous self-loving selves. This not only will sustain our own needs and wants, but allows us to finally get out of scarcity thinking. We can instead live abundant lives, that we can then share with others.
To me, all this is like when you start listening to what your body wants to eat.
The first resistance might be ‘well, if I only eat what my body craves, I’d eat donuts and chips all day’. But, when you begin listening to your cravings, you may find your body wants oranges or tomatoes or that great salad you made last week. Once you’ve created a relationship with your body, you can trust that when it wants some sugar, it’s ok to give it some. In other words, you can trust it to tell you what’s best for it. Because in the end, it’s not your body craving those other things, it’s your mind.
Same thing goes for connecting with your soul and self-full nature.
At first you might think ‘but if I let myself do whatever makes me happy in the moment I’ll lay around and never get anything done’. Which is the activity equal of those chips and donuts. And, like with those snack food escapes, it’s not your soul that wants to lay around and do nothing, it’s your mind.Once you’ve connected with your soul and learned how to listen to its needs, you’ll have created a healthy relationship with your inner being. You will be able to trust that it knows what it’s talking about when it says ‘let’s go outside and play.’
These days are always balanced out with the days that your ‘me time’ consists of cleaning closets and planning finances. The shift is that you wait until your soul wants to do them.
Balance rules the Universe, and every extreme balances out its counterpart.
Veggies and donuts, playful exploration with responsibilities, light and dark, yin and yang. Most of the time, Our ‘shoulds’ are out of balance with our soul wants. It’s not a matter of getting rid of them. Instead, hold more space for their counterparts, the individual joys that make you ‘you.’
To sum up this month: Slow down, review, reflect, and reconnect with your core soul wants — aka becoming more ‘self-full’. By doing so, you are not only balancing your own needs, but helping to balance out the needs and ‘shoulds’ of humanity.
This is the magic of listening to and befriending your soul. It will always lead you to exactly what you need to experience in that moment. So if you’re feeling burned out by your ‘shoulds’ right now, stop. Take a deep breath, feel within to see what you REALLY want to be doing right now, and go do it. I promise, someday soon you’ll be in the mood to do that laundry or write that paper. Assuming, that is, it’s in your soul’s best interest to do it at all.
Mantra for the month
“What does my soul deeply want?”